Deep breath…where do we begin with her? She’s that lady that has it all together. Her husband raves about her and not only treats her like a gem, but she IS a priceless gem in his heart & eyes, her friends are in awe of her (though it probably doesn’t keep them from trying to find and secretly delight to her flaws; why are women so catty?), her children look, act and actually ARE perfect, she’s a go-to when you need to know what to do and how to do it, and she’s productive. I mean, reeeeallly productive: her house is immaculate, she’s creative and can decorate/build/design anything, her meals are to die for, and although she is in perfect physical condition, she never is seen in public in her workout clothes with no makeup and a pony tail that still has sweat trapped in it from her morning workout even though its 3 pm. Yep, THAT lady.
Talk about pressure! We ladies are so incredibly hard on ourselves, trying to live up to an ideal. Which ideal we’re living up to depends on who we look up to. Society has an ideal, our husbands have an ideal, we have an ideal and the Bible has an ideal in Proverbs 31:10-31. Basically, the lady in the passage rocks….she’s THAT lady. If you don’t know about her, don’t fret. Because when you read about her, it probably will put you in a bit of a funk. Or it will inspire you. Or both.
So back to living up to an ideal standard…It is, in a word, impossible. For so many reasons. First of all, it causes you to look to an external source to compare yourself to. “If only I was as fit/thin/curvy as her,” “I wish I had her clothes, ” “Her house is always so clean and organized,” and so forth. While these thoughts can be inspiring to go to the gym and order a salad or do some spring cleaning on a rainy day, they should be used just as that and not a comparative obsession that causes us to feel insignificant, not good enough, hopeless or fixated on what we’re not. And we become fixated on that quality or qualities that we want to capitalize on in ourselves, forsaking other areas of our lives that we have to tend to. We humans, ladies in particular, tend to spend a lot of time looking around and not enough time looking within. We make assumptions on what we see or feel and not truth. And you know what happens when we ASSUME… We make an “ArSe out of U and ME” (I once got detention for pointing that out to a teacher…I guess I assumed saying “arse” in an educational format would be permissible in class. Please forgive my use here…but it is another word for donkey, right?). And when we see what amazing things other people are doing, buying, creating on Facebook and Pinterest, we think we have to do those things too. We assume that we are incomplete if we don’t live up to what others are doing. Or we assume that these people wouldn’t like us, wouldn’t accept us, or even that they’re mean and not “our type of friend.” We become jealous, catty, depressed, even dislike people based on those assumptions. So out went any possible inspiration and in comes dark thoughts, dark attitudes, and negative behavior. And in the meantime we’ve missed so many opportunities to learn and move forward because we’re so stuck in park and obsess.
I could go off here on being positive, having healthy self-acceptance and loving who you are and embracing where you are and setting a positive goals and moving forward and bettering (not changing) who God created you to be, but will do that at a later blog. This is something I feel strongly about, but this isn’t the time for that. This is the time to talk about HER. THAT lady.
First, read about her: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31%3A10-31&version=NIV . (If the link doesn’t work, grab your Bible and turn to Proverbs chapter 31.)
Wow. This chick exudes excellence. In everything she does…in fact, the passage starts and ends by describing her with excellence, in verse 10 and verse 29. Right now a flashing red light of doubt may be flashing in the back of your mind. Excellence can be intimidating. And all the talk about her weaving linens and the mention of maidens would lead us to dismiss her as unattainable…I mean, I don’t have any maidens to help me with housework or childrearing. But let’s look closer. She’s a great wife and homemaker, she contributes to the household economically, cares for those less fortunate and provides an example to her household and neighbors with wisdom, kindness and work ethic. OK, now we have some examples of things we can work with and strive for. And we can strive for this ideal, because we know her secret. Didn’t see it? Read the passage again. Verse 30 gives it away: “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” THAT lady fears the Lord.
So THAT is what fear of the Lord looks like. We can’t strive for anything else with any true success without starting our journey there. Fear of the Lord. Knowledge that we are not in control. Realization that the big picture is in His Big Hands (Cue in song “He’s got the whole world in His hands). In verse 25 it says she laughs at the time to come. She doesn’t sit and worry about the future. She doesn’t try to control everything and everyone around her. She has a healthy fear of the Lord and humility before Him to know she can only do her best and trust Him with the rest. That’s right, she does her best…not what someone else’s best is. Just hers. Because what she lacks the Lord fills in. She isn’t idle either, she works at everything she does (v27). She gets up when it’s still dark (v15) and is still at it when it gets dark again (v18). So we know we need fear of the Lord and hard work…and it is hard work to truly fear the Lord. In our world, with our focus in the wrong places, our divided hearts, our drive to succeed at all costs, our expectations of what we “deserve”, our need to control our lives and the actions of those around us, it IS hard work to truly trust in and fear the Lord.
Let’s start there then. With developing a fear of the Lord. HOW? Prayer and study of His Word and surrender. Not just on Sunday morning. Carving out time (and it does take carving, sometimes with a machete) in your day to sit down and read, study, think upon, and digest the Bible. Praying for His will, not your own, in your daily actions, decisions and future. Once you make that a habit, the rest becomes easier to manage. Not easy, just easier.
