After digesting THAT lady’s excellence, what did you think? Her fear of the Lord – the key to her excellence (verse 30) – shouldn’t that be our first priority when trying to attain God’s standard? That while charm and beauty are fine, they are secondary in importance to fearing the Lord. Her fear of the Lord brings about the wisdom and characteristics that are taught throughout the book of Proverbs. In fact, the book of Proverbs begins by telling us that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” (Proverbs 1:7). And truly the book is one of wisdom and instruction…topics include marriage, work/laziness, friendship, child-rearing, and getting along with others, to name a few. Some info we could all use in our day-to-day lives, right? It speaks to God’s practicality to our lives, but also that we have to seek, study, pursue and be disciplined to live in God’s will. Keeping that in mind, let’s get back to our girl…
So she’s excellent. She works hard at it, pursuing it, leading her household by example. She’s intentional…the reason her children rise up and call her blessed and her husband praises her is that she makes her family and her household a priority. She manages her household with selfless determination. She gets up early and works late (verses 15 and 18). STINGER. How often do we just want 5 minutes alone, to ourselves, to relax? To use the restroom without looking into another person’s eyes less than a foot from you? To get into that time-black-hole called Facebook or Pinterest and mindlessly peruse the information? Doesn’t look like she does much of that. Now look here, folks. I’m not saying we can’t take a few moments to collect ourselves or to enjoy some rest. But at the same time, I think we have fallen into a trap of thinking we deserve that time and rest a lot more than we should. Part of that generation X, I guess. I think of my grandmother, up before anyone else, fully dressed and ready for the day before the sun came up, and still cleaning and looking after our needs when everyone else was relaxing after dinner. The world may have changed, and we’ve changed with it. But I think we’ve lost some productivity in our expectation of how life should be, and if we want to get it back, we may need to re-examine the way we spend our time. I’m preaching to myself here, too. Bottom line, it says in verse 27, she does not eat the bread of idleness. Her family and household are of priority to her over her relaxation.
She determines to do her husband good, not harm (verse 12). I don’t know about you all, but my husband likes to come home to some organization and tidiness. It’s the way his mind works – outer chaos only adds to the chaos of his thoughts and work worries. That is a way I can do him good, not harm, by trying to keeps some sense of organization and peace around the home. How can you intentionally do your husband good? Try working on that, doing something to build him up, regardless of whether you think he deserves the extra effort or not. We’re not working on God’s standard for him, but for ourselves here. This action is echoed in 1 Peter chapter 3. We are to win our husband’s obedience to the word without our words (which could be taken as nagging) but by our conduct. Never underestimate the sway we women have over our men. When used in a godly way (as it should), we are modeling faith, obedience and fear of the Lord not only for our children, but also for our husbands. The Proverbs 31 chick has added to her husband’s standing in the community by her character and work (verse 23). What she does benefits her husband, and in turn, he praises her for it (verse 28).
Her character is one of strength and dignity, so much a part of her that it seems like she’s covered in it (verse 25). When she speaks, she speaks in wisdom and kindness (verse 26). Don’t miss that one…it’s a biggie. When she speaks, it isn’t slander, gossip, anger, bitterness or complaint. It’s wisdom and the teaching of kindness that flow from her mouth. We should take our anger, slander, bitterness and complaint to God, where we’re already forgiven for it and can be corrected for it, rather than let it come flowing out of our mouths to poison everything around us, including our character. We all fall victim to this, and this is another area where we just have to be intentional with ourselves.
Whether you work at home or work outside the home, there is always work to be done. She is productive. THAT lady does a lot of sewing and she sells it and as if that didn’t keep her busy, has a vineyard. That would turn some people off and dismiss the whole passage as unattainable. What’s your talent? You may not be crafty or creative or have a green thumb, but I don’t think we should get stuck on the what of her talent, but that she uses it to profit her family. So what is your talent that you can use? You don’t have to sell merchandise, but you can use your talent to help others. Verse 20 states that she opens her hand to the needy and the poor. She gives of her talent and time. Yet another example of her character and her leadership by example. She makes the most of the gifts and talents that God has given her to be productive.
The kicker of this Proverbs 31 standard is that she is able to balance all of this, her family, her household, her work and her charity. No one woman will ever look exactly like this, and we shouldn’t. We are individuals, works in progress, with different personalities, talents, gifts and pressures. But there is wisdom here. First and foremost, fear the Lord. Pursuit of His will for our lives through prayer, study and self-discipline is key to finding balance of any kind in our lives. Next is looking to our priorities. Is our family and household our priority? Are we diligent in being intentional with the way we treat our husbands and raise our children? Are we wise in our spending habits and using our talents to benefit our household and help others? Do we examine our hearts and actions to be sure they line up with godliness, thus providing an example for those around us to pursue His wisdom in their own lives?
No one is perfect. I am among the least perfect people you’ll meet. I felt led to look for and share the keys to success THAT woman, the Proverbs 31 lady, had. I don’t feel led to back up to the kicking machine because I don’t match her exactly. That isn’t what this is meant to do, nor is it what God wants for us. We are to strive for a higher standard, His standard…not worry about where others are in their progress and compare ourselves to them. And be ever so grateful that we are covered in grace and love on our journey.
