It’s ok to be Vulnerable
This blog post started with a little conversation between Joy and I that went something like this…
Joy: “Would you be willing to write for our blog series called First Friday Fire?”
Me: “Sure, I would love that; it will give me a reason to write something.” (Knowing the last time I sat down to write anything other than a grocery list was probably over 6 months ago… eek!)
Five minutes go by…it sinks in, what I have just agreed to do, enthusiastically, I might add. What was I thinking? (Insert huge small moment of regret).But, when Joy asks you to do something, you know she has prayed Heaven down way before ever asking you to do anything…so the options were:
- Do what she asks because you know God is all over it!
Or…
- Do what she asks because you know God is all over it!
I have been praying and asking what God would have me say to this beautiful group of women I have had the privilege of meeting with on Thursday mornings. What do I have to say to you that you don’t already know? You are awesome women of God seeking with every part of your being to be the wife and mother that God has designed you and gifted you uniquely to be. You are wise enough to know this motherhood thing is not easy, and the support and knowledge of other women makes you better in every way. And now you see my conundrum…it’s slightly intimidating, as it always is when you make yourself vulnerable enough that others can take something meaningful away from what you write. And, so I think that’s what we will dive into today…vulnerability. And, because we all know Joy loves her some definitions…
Vulnerable (dictionary.com): 1) capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon 2) open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc. 3) open to assault; difficult to defend 4)Bridge, having won one of the games of rubber
Ok, let’s just agree to ignore number 4…because I don’t get it at all and I am fighting this humongous urge to “google it” and spend the next 30 minutes engaging in the ever so helpful gift of procrastination…
But, number 1,2, and 3…as mothers I think we sit right there a lot. Mostly when applied to motherhood, being vulnerable is an inherent part of the journey. This vulnerability begins the very day we look into our precious baby’s sweet face, a piece of our heart living outside of our body. It continues everyday as we hope and pray that we do this job well, knowing that God has a plan, but having no real idea what that plan entails. I watch my kids walk this tightrope we call life every day, where one step to the left or right of these well supervised lives they lead will have them headed in the wrong direction. And, there…I am vulnerable, at the mercy of what will or won’t happen to or for them in this life. My heart entwined to theirs in a way only other mothers understand. But that’s OK, it’s what makes us so in tuned to our children and their needs and wants, God-given intuition…that’s vulnerability.
Then… there’s the vulnerability that we choose, and that’s where I want to sit for a few minutes. There’s a part of each one of us that tends to hold back, especially around other women. I know this because, well…I am the official queen of holding back, if there were a crown it would be mine and I promise it would be bejeweled with about a gazillion little gemstones in a variety of colors for every moment I haven’t been open or vulnerable when I should have been. And, I am not even referencing strangers, I am thinking about other self-professing Christian women, beautiful women of God…just like all of you.
How many times have you sat with a group of women wanting to share something but were too afraid because it might look like you don’t have it all together? How many times have you held back a prayer request because it was so personal you felt others would sit in judgement? Have you ever not volunteered your help because you felt inadequate to do the job in some way? Have you ever wanted to share a part of your testimony but were afraid because of what others might think of you? Have you ever avoided attending a playdate because, let’s face it…your child tends to bring the crazy in front of other people? Have you ever felt it from another mom, this holding back, that wouldn’t allow your friendship to develop the way it should?
Soooo, what do we do…with this epidemic of holding back, of being scared of choosing to be vulnerable? I mean, should we really give in to the side of us that wants to be open and honest with other women when there is no promise of return on our investment? What if what we get is a plate of disapproval with a large side salad of judgement and a full dessert of regret afterwards? The bad news is, I don’t have the answer…hence my full crown of hold back jewels.
You might be thinking I am going to tell you how I would propose that you be more open, more vulnerable, more real. Nope, that’s not what I am going to do. It’s a decision only you can make. But, I can encourage you to do something. You see, I believe that vulnerability with others is as contagious as the common cold. So, what if all I asked of you was to go about the work of Jesus?
34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35 (NIV)
What if we treated other women the way he calls us to? What if we were the person that allowed another mom to be who they are in all of their brokenness, unpreparedness, and craziness and stuck by them instead of gossiping about them? What if we could dismiss the ways we live life differently based on God’s call on our own lives and could see each other independent of those decisions…you know the ones that divide us…homeschool or not, vaccinations or not, employed or not, and I could go on forever, couldn’t I? Can it start with this group of women called Mom’s with Swords. Can we start to remedy this epidemic by starting a new revolution of how we do life together? Can we show our daughters how this is done so they begin to develop deep and lasting friendships that will get them through the awkwardness of middle school drama, braces, and acne?
24 Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family. Proverbs 18:24 (MSG)
Because, at the end of the day…we need each other, and it’s OK to act like it, to be whoyou are and to be prayed for, loved on, and supported and encouraged by other women. It’s the love of Jesus poured out onto one another the way it should be, and that fellow Mom’s with Swords…is contagious.
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